decision time

Oh what a week! This week I have done or experienced all of the following: ran a fever, made blini, lost my voice, bought another month pass on my transit card, been barked at by a giant stray dog, got my voice back, tried an incredibly delicious type of cake that I have never seen before on my host mom’s birthday, broken a teacup by pouring hot water into it (my host mom did the same thing about a month ago, we’re not sure why most of the time its fine but sometimes they break), watched ‘Something’s Gotta Give’ in Russian, gotten an email from Claudia (German professor in Frankfurt whom I absolutely adore) with recommendations on books to look for in Berlin, and decided to stay with my host family next semester!

Yes, save the most important for last. After talking with Jarlath and thinking it over and then talking with my host mom, I have decided that it feels right to stay with my host family for the whole year. I am completely comfortable here and, while it might be nice to see another type of Russian lifestyle, I also know that it would be hard always comparing things to how they are now and that in my conversations with other students my situation is a comparatively excellent one. I have an extended Russian family, while most students live with just a host mom or host parents – I even met my host mom’s twin sister tonight via Skype, her name is Tanya and she lives in Kazakhstan and has a 2-year-old son – and while we may live 20 minutes farther from school than some students, I’ve decided that’s not a reason to change when I feel so comfortable here. So I asked my host mom last night (28th) whether she was planning on working with CIEE next semester (though I had already asked Jarlath the same question and he had told me yes), and she said yes, with a kind of funny look on her face. I asked if I could come back for next semester and she practically jumped out of her chair and said yes, of course, we told CIEE we didn’t want a different student and I’m so glad and on and on and how in May she will know English and I’ll know Russian so well and we can maybe go skiing in Finland in February for a weekend and she’s just so excited and that it’s the best birthday present that I’m going to come back and stay with them (her birthday is today as I’m writing this, the 29th), and it was so adorable and I knew I’d made the right decision. And if possible we’re even more comfortable all together now than we were before we talked about next semester! So I’m very excited, and it also means I’ll probably be able to travel home with just one suitcase, or two very light suitcases! I’m already looking forward to coming back in January, knowing I have this family waiting for me!

On the subject of her birthday, the most interesting thing happened. We went over to her mom’s for dinner and cake – more on the cake tomorrow but I have to write this before bed. Pasha stayed a little later but Irya and I headed home together, and I insisted on carrying her bag (not her purse, but we had picked up a pair of boots, a DVD we wanted to watch, and a few other things at her mom’s and they were in another bag), saying simply, “its your birthday, of course I’ll carry it!” and she looked at me kind of funny but let me carry it. When we got home and I gave it back to her in the hallway, she said that was the first time someone had said something like that to her. That she shouldn’t have to do something because it was her birthday. Even on ‘women’s day’ in spring, she said the men bring the women flowers but the women still slave in the kitchen over dinner and clean and take care of everything etc. I explained the concept of ‘breakfast in bed’ on Mother’s Day and she just laughed and shook her head and said how wonderful that must be. (I think I’ll teach Pasha a new tradition on Mother’s Day in May and we’ll surprise Irya.) A little while later when she unwrapped my birthday present to her (a vase to match the colors in the kitchen filled with her favorite candy), she remarked over and over how beautiful it was and how she would always remember when she looked at it how I had told her that she didn’t have to carry her bag because it was her birthday and how nice that was. I wish I had the vocabulary, in my own language or any foreign one, to explain to her or to this internet cosmos how that felt, and how badly I suddenly wanted to explain how grateful I am for everything she has done to make me feel at home while I’ve been here, and still I have no words. Her saying that seemed so candid – though she is never anything but honest – and I feel some stronger sense of connection with her as a result of that brief admission, and I cannot really explain why. But it seemed to me an experience which might help others glimpse a bit of the realness of the people here, and if not, I apologize for the detour and thank you for your indulgence.

Now its Friday! Classes this morning went just fine, though the bus ride there was a bit of a nightmare, and now I owe you some details on the cake! It was like a chocolate shell with a cake bottom and thick, sweet, whipped cream. It is incredibly light and sweet, and absolutely delicious! Most of the cakes here are already cut into pieces when you buy them, so there was no ‘cutting the cake’ but it was still a fun evening. This weekend should be all kinds of fun, going ice skating tonight with some friends really late, and then tomorrow heading to the Alexander Nevsky monastery during the day and the Halloween party for the university at Club Revolution at night! Then Sunday is All Saints, and next week Wednesday is a holiday so there is no school (though my host mom and host brother both didn’t know what the holiday is) and Thursday night we head to Moscow! And from there, Berlin! On the 9th of November Tom and I are going to try and be on the square where the Brandenburg Gate is for all of the festivities, so look for us if they’re showing it on the news. ☺ They are going to knock over more than 1000 giant painted dominoes along the path where the Berlin Wall stood right by the Brandenburg Gate, and we are going to do our best to be close enough to see at least part of it! I won’t have my computer with me in Moscow or Berlin, so posts will be shorter but I’ll type up my journal when I get back so don’t worry you’ll still get a full report! Then it will be the middle of November! Hope fall sticks around a little longer on the other side of the Atlantic, here the weather forecasters have decided that we are just about done with fall! Much love to all!